beautiful babe eating chicken

beautiful babe eating chicken - m4w
“saw u eating at chick-fil-a around 2pm with a bunch of kids (hopefully ur little brothers and sisters!!!). u were rockin it in you blue jeans and white tank top. i know you noticed my bulging biceps. Hopefully we can get to know each other better!!! tell me what color my black tank top was… :0)”
Sometimes when I’m bored at work I look through the Missed Connections on Craigslist. These are so funny. I think it would make a fantastic radio show segment or comedy sketch to reenact some of these hopeless letters to nowhere. I mean, does that guy really think that’s going to work? I mean REALLY!? Maybe his bulging biceps were not quite bulging enough? Or maybe it was that he was forty, balding, and driving a ‘87 GrandAm with mismatched wheels and she was 16? I don’t think that chicken loving babe is going to get back to you anytime soon Romeo. I look through these adds with delight, laughing, But I also feel kind of bad for these people, and good about myself at the same time. Maybe that’s why I like them so much.
beautiful lady at the VA - m4w
“I was sitting in the waiting area and you passed by. I couldn't help but stare because of the low cut blouse and those hard nipples poking through. Were you cold? I'd love to see more of those in person.”
And this guy. REALLY!? Like REALLY REALLY? Has that ever worked? Ever? My only question is why, when you saw them the first time, did you not say “hello, my name is… and I would like to pay for your Chik-Fil-As for the rest of forever and always.” Or. “I really like how your nipples are huge. Would you like to get a bite to eat?” These peoples whole live are probably missed connections. Has ANY of this ever worked? There are probably couples out there. “How did you too meet?” “Craigslist, He said he liked how round my butt was when I passed him at the State Fair. When I saw that on craigslist I knew he was the one!”
You’ve got to hand it to them though, at least there trying something. You cant call them TOTTALY hopeless. What if the girl called? What if she called up and said, “I just read your add on Craigslist, I like my nipples too… Lets get together tomorrow night.” What then? That’s the problem with men, there is no step 2. We whistle at a girls walking down the street. What if she was like “I’m Into that.” What would we do? We don’t know because that’s never happened, we haven’t thought that far ahead yet.
In a way your entire life is made up of missed connections and of course of made connections. Sometimes the connections you miss are just as important. I’m just glad I’m not so hopelessly hopeful that I’m posting, “Hey Baby, Saw you at the Movie theatre, too much of a wuss to go talk to you. Tell me what I was wearing so I know its you.”

My New Swedish Friend

Well, I bought a Swede. Not really actually because it says its build location was Belgium. But I like the Swedish better. As you may have already figured out I am talking about my new Volvo, which I have aptly named Sven. And I think its rather fitting. I now own a car from Asia, Europe, AND the good ol’ USA. The RX8, my Japanese mistress is fast, small, finicky, and ready to fight at the mere mention of its ancestors. Much like the Japanese themselves. It Can’t really take a good punch but is nimble enough to avoid them, This is why it regularly takes down much bigger more powerful German rivals in races all over the world. RX8s have taken out Porsches, Audis and BMWs. More famously beating a BMW M3, a car with over 100 horsepower more than the plucky RX8, around the Top Gear Test track. Astonishing. Good at what it does, but not good at everything. The kind of car you love but don’t want to tell anyone about. Much like a night in Amsterdam.
Up next there is our Commander. This Jeep is a big, ugly, v8 powered monster. It’s the Rocky of the automotive world. He can take punches from that big Russian dude and still walk away, Just a big American bulldog. It’s Vin Diesel, with room for the kids. Why use the door when you can bust through the wall? It’s huge and over the top, maybe even completely unnecessary.
And then there is Sven, with his silver exterior and light beige interior, it might just be the most boring car ever made, but I’m ok with that. Not to big, but not to small. I don’t get the feeling that I might wake up in Vegas with a transvestites g-string swinging from the ceiling fan when I drive it. Its not over the top, its not haughty, its not to fast, it gets good gas mileage, but best of all its predictable. Its willing to wait in line, and it wont Light up a cigarette in public. It’s perfectly happy on the drive to work or just staying home and having a bit of tea. Want to go for a drive to the shops? Sven will help. Want to drive cross-country? He’s more than up for it. Find yourself on a twisty road? Sven likes to get a workout too. It’s the kind of car you would want as a wife. Good looking, comfortable, fast if she wants to be. But still willing and happy just to stay home and make Beef Wellington. Most of all you don’t have to worry about her sleeping with your best friend. Which, and correct me if Im wrong, is what we are all looking for.
Cars are a funny thing, in that you really can have this intense emotional connection with them. We sold a 1997 Saturn, that had 214,000 miles on the odometer, would not start but on the 3rd try (she always did start though) Manual everything, and sucked oil like you wouldn’t believe. And on top of all this we loved that little car, even went as far as got a little wet in the eyes to see her go. And for what? This inanimate hunk of steel and wires will never love us back; will never buy us a card on our birthday. But for some reason we love and cherish them as if they were family. I think is has to do with all the memories experienced in the car. It’s our gateway to the world. Without the automobile we would all be plowing fields and marrying our cousins like the good old days. It’s our escape. You know that with a few dollars you can be in a different time zone in a couple hours, and that is liberating. And I’m looking forward to creating as many memories as I can in with this new member of our family, Sven.

Americas lost tallent

Last night I was watching some Americas Got Talent, and you all know, I love me some talent. As I was watching I started thinking about how awesome America is. Where else could you copy popular British TV shows (like Americas Got Talent, the office, American idol ect.) Make them 10 times better and more popular and re-sell them to the world as something new. When the British did pop idol, no one paid any attention. When we do Idol the whole world watches. Of course the British will try and take credit for its success, just like they claim to have invented the sports car, won World War II, and created rock and roll, but its just not true. All of these things were only done because of the good ol’ U.S.A. We invented the car, the British thought it would be fun to take the top of, and we agreed and made the corvette. The Beatles were not very popular until they came to the U.S. and wouldn’t even be around if not for Elvis. The Brits may have started WWII but we rode in as the cavalry in the 11th hour and saved their asses. If it weren’t for us they would all speak German and eat schnitzel. My point is we don’t get enough respect from those limey bastards. But anyway that’s not what this article is about.
As I was watching “The biggest talent competition in the world” as they call it I couldn’t help thinking how nice and easy these people have it. All they have to do is make it through 6 weeks of deliberation by the judges and BAM! Instant stardom, multi-platinum albums and appearances on MTV Cribs, of course with crystaaaaal in the fridge just so everyone knows they’re Baller’. Where else but in The U.S.? I wonder how the surviving members of bands like Led Zeppelin and the Beatles think about this? When they meet Kelly Clarkson are they like “We had to sleep in a van 4 deep and dine on garbage for 10 years before we got our big brake, how bout you?” It just doesn’t seem right. You should have to work, and work damn hard to make the kind of money they are making. I wonder if they even appreciate it? I think the show should be called "Americas' Lost Ambition." What happened to the country of hard work? Of Henry Ford and Teddy Roosevelt? When we wanted something we would take it, or build it, and we wouldn't stop until we succeeded. Even if it was hard. Now it just seem as if we couldn't be bothered if we cant find instructions on Google. Why do you think the lottery is so successful? Its a quick fix. We have become a country of drug addicts, getting high on the things we think we are inherently entitled to. Or own quick fixes.
This brings me to the myth of college. When a child is sent away to college he is told, “go to college so you can get a good job.” This is true but its also misleading. Just because you have a degree doesn’t mean shit, as I have come to find out. You will get jobs with your $100,000 degree in which your managers, the people who are making more money than you, only made it as far as a GED. Education is a powerful tool, but it is not an all access pass. You still have to work, and work hard.
I’m working hard for the things I want. My college education wasn’t free and I don’t make a six-figure income. But that’s OK. I’m working on it. In the mean time I’m Happy with what I do have, because my daddy didn’t build me a brand new house and I need to thank him everyday for that.