My New Swedish Friend

Well, I bought a Swede. Not really actually because it says its build location was Belgium. But I like the Swedish better. As you may have already figured out I am talking about my new Volvo, which I have aptly named Sven. And I think its rather fitting. I now own a car from Asia, Europe, AND the good ol’ USA. The RX8, my Japanese mistress is fast, small, finicky, and ready to fight at the mere mention of its ancestors. Much like the Japanese themselves. It Can’t really take a good punch but is nimble enough to avoid them, This is why it regularly takes down much bigger more powerful German rivals in races all over the world. RX8s have taken out Porsches, Audis and BMWs. More famously beating a BMW M3, a car with over 100 horsepower more than the plucky RX8, around the Top Gear Test track. Astonishing. Good at what it does, but not good at everything. The kind of car you love but don’t want to tell anyone about. Much like a night in Amsterdam.
Up next there is our Commander. This Jeep is a big, ugly, v8 powered monster. It’s the Rocky of the automotive world. He can take punches from that big Russian dude and still walk away, Just a big American bulldog. It’s Vin Diesel, with room for the kids. Why use the door when you can bust through the wall? It’s huge and over the top, maybe even completely unnecessary.
And then there is Sven, with his silver exterior and light beige interior, it might just be the most boring car ever made, but I’m ok with that. Not to big, but not to small. I don’t get the feeling that I might wake up in Vegas with a transvestites g-string swinging from the ceiling fan when I drive it. Its not over the top, its not haughty, its not to fast, it gets good gas mileage, but best of all its predictable. Its willing to wait in line, and it wont Light up a cigarette in public. It’s perfectly happy on the drive to work or just staying home and having a bit of tea. Want to go for a drive to the shops? Sven will help. Want to drive cross-country? He’s more than up for it. Find yourself on a twisty road? Sven likes to get a workout too. It’s the kind of car you would want as a wife. Good looking, comfortable, fast if she wants to be. But still willing and happy just to stay home and make Beef Wellington. Most of all you don’t have to worry about her sleeping with your best friend. Which, and correct me if Im wrong, is what we are all looking for.
Cars are a funny thing, in that you really can have this intense emotional connection with them. We sold a 1997 Saturn, that had 214,000 miles on the odometer, would not start but on the 3rd try (she always did start though) Manual everything, and sucked oil like you wouldn’t believe. And on top of all this we loved that little car, even went as far as got a little wet in the eyes to see her go. And for what? This inanimate hunk of steel and wires will never love us back; will never buy us a card on our birthday. But for some reason we love and cherish them as if they were family. I think is has to do with all the memories experienced in the car. It’s our gateway to the world. Without the automobile we would all be plowing fields and marrying our cousins like the good old days. It’s our escape. You know that with a few dollars you can be in a different time zone in a couple hours, and that is liberating. And I’m looking forward to creating as many memories as I can in with this new member of our family, Sven.