Well thought out life

I’ve Never fit in. Never have. I’m not really to sure why. I just haven’t. I’m not trying to be sad, or write a sort of “woe as me” piece here. Thing is actually, I’m ok with it. I’ve lived with it forever and I assume I will live with it for the next whatever. I’m always sort of the one looking in. I think if you would ask any of my closest friends, the few I have, they would all agree that I’m not the most compromising person around. I’m very sure in my ways. For example, I hate water; loathe it with all my being. I don’t like being wet, I don’t like swimming. I very much like being near water, like on the beach or on a pier or lakeside, I just don’t like being in water. I’ve been on trips with friends on a lake or near the ocean, and everyone is either in the water or being towed behind a boat on one of those hideous tube things. Inevitably they will say “your turn Cory.” And I will say “no thanks.” “Come on, just once!” they will plead, “I’m good” I’ll say. “Come on, don’t be a wuss.” This goes on for some time and I will hold a stern “no.” I just don’t like water. I’m not getting in. this makes me out to be a bit of a spoilsport and I don’t get invited back. In truth I’m not a spoilsport. I’m not preventing anyone else from having fun; I just don’t like being wet. I’m perfectly happy where I am. I think people are worried I’m not having any fun, so they in turn are not having any fun. I’m the exact opposite. I don’t care so much about what other people are doing as long as I’m having fun. This is a blessing and a curse all in one. The result of this thought process is that I’ve lived an incredibly happy life mostly alone, the friends I have are good ones and then there is everyone else. And do you know what? I think I like it that way. I have no appearances to keep. I’ve not got a lot of the kind of half-friendships most people keep. I don’t have 6 trillion friends on FacePage. I have 160. That may seem like a lot but after very little research I have concluded that most people have an average of 347. All the people I have contacted on myface are people I would actually like to here from, and am genuinely interested in seeing what they are up to. As a result of all this, people often think I’m a ass-hat and don’t even give me a chance. Truth is, I’m not. I’m the nicest guy you’ll ever meet.
I think this all comes from somewhere deep inside me. As I said, I don’t fit in, but really I don’t want to fit in, never have. I don’t know why, just never have. It killed my parents with the “why cant you just be like the other boys” or “why do you have to wear two different colour shoe’s to school?” I heard so often when I was younger. At a point I think they just gave up and said let him wear it. But lets hang on parents. Do you really want me to be like all the other boys in school? You want me to get in fights, and get caught smoking behind the cafeteria? You want me to drink too much beer, play football and have no respect for women? In the words of George Carlin, Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are ever stupider than that. I just didn’t think it was cool to try and emulate these loud, obnoxious, mouth breathers. But still I think its something deeper than that. I just have his need to stand out, to be different, in everything. I think if you are this way, and a lot of you are, you understand completely. If not, you never will understand, and that’s okay. I think in life you just have to figure out who you are, and I think I found myself a lot sooner than most do. As a result I didn’t, and still don’t, have anything to prove to anyone, and that pisses a lot of people off. It really shouldn’t but it does. But I don’t care, as I said, I’m perfectly happy where I am. In the end, that’s all that matters.