The past is hillarious

I found a bunch of old articles I wrote in the past for various publications. I am going to start posting these up here. enjoy!

Chad not Charlie
February 2006
By Cory Campbell

I have this Neighbor who… Wait a minute let me start over.
Have you ever had someone call you by the wrong name for as long as you know but for some reason you just haven't bothered to tell them your real name? I have this neighbor who for some reason called me Charlie for the longest time. Charlie? I mean come on, that's not even close! But for one reason or another I just never told him the truth, my real name, besides, I kind of liked Charlie. I grew accustomed to the alternate lifestyle it allowed me to not only create, but to live out. At school or at work, or wherever, I was just Cory, period, just plane, old, boring Cory. But when I saw that neighbor I was Charlie! Hell Yea! I could be anything I wanted and before you know it I was a legend. Everyone around the world (or at least the greater Gleneagles neighborhood association) was hearing stories of the great Charlie.
The worst part about this scenario is that the neighbor is bound to find out somehow, it's inevitable, it's going to happen. At some time during some bar-b-q, or another block party some inept friend or family member is going to let the proverbial cat out of the bag, and I'm going to go back to plane old boring Cory. And I know this is going to be the most awkward day of my life when it does happen.
When my neighbor found out he was just like, "so, your names not Charlie?" I start to panic and think to myself, "I love Charlie! I need Charlie! I've been Charlie for like two years how can I not be Charlie!" (I got a little attached to the alternate Persona it allowed me to create.)
I'm definitely feeling more awkward at this moment than a pre-teen in a gym class locker-room. I'm fumbling for words, "I'm Sorry… I just didn't…" Then he said the most beautiful thing I've ever herd. "Why didn't you just tell me your name was Chad? It would have been fine to just correct me." YES! I can keep living the lie! Chad, Yea, I like that. I think I can do something with Chad.